The Dreaming is starting . . .

For weeks now, I have not been able to get anything to come out of the dream area of my brain/heart/soul. I have tried and tried to think outside of the box and yet, I have come up with nothing. I know that much of this is due to the fact that I am still adjusting and transitioning.

Today however, as I was meeting with my good friend, Steve who is helping me with this transition phase and looking forward to post-mission job search, I have found something that I could contribute and have fun along with help others improve their own business. Some similar things that I did in Poland with my team and church . . .

Okay, so I wrote that 12 days ago and then never finished.  The vision is that I will experiment with for the next month or so, is helping small to medium-sized businesses turn their boring PowerPoint presentations into visual experiences for their viewers along with how to get them better exposure in the social network area. I am in the beginning stages of all of this, but I am working with one company to see if: A) I like doing this longer than just one or two projects  B) am and good at it C) see what the need is for businesses.  I don’t want to just go and get a job to make money to live, but to help others in the business world, improve their business and thus their lives.  Through my business practices, I trust that God will give me avenues to live the love of Christ in front of my customers.  I am working on a logo right now and at this point will be working within a business, so I will not really be on my own.  I know that I don’t work well alone and need a team to spur me on and to be around.

I will be going next week to Missionary Training International’s  Debrief and Reentry week-long retreat starting on Sunday.  I am excited for this for a few reasons, but mostly that I am going to walking in with an idea and vision of what God just may have for my future and even if this ends up being a side job (as I continue to explore a “real” job), it is something that feeds both my creative and relational sides of who I am.

Dream a Dream

dream10-300x273“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”  – C.S. Lewis,From Atheist To Hot Christian Author.

I found this quote on FaceBook the other day, and it inspired my heart and soul.  I have been wandering around for 7 weeks asking God to show me a new dream.  I have gotten NOTHING!

I must admit that I have thought that I am too old to have a new dream.  That there is nothing more for me to do than to just find any job that will pay the bills and just survive through. What a HUGE, UGLY LIE!  I can dream! I will dream and I want to dream of what God has for me.  He did not bring me back to Denver just to put me away until my death.

So, here I am ready to DREAM. Ready to WONDER. Ready to take a step into the unknown, just as I did almost 8 years ago!

The reality of being home

One of the aspects of living outside of the US is the fact that I did not have to engaged in the everyday politics of the land. As I am here, I am having to live IN it!  Since the government “shutdown” or “slimdown” depending on who you talk to, all I hear about is the government!!  Ahh!!!!  When I lived here, I was WAY into the whole politics of the US, but now that I have not been around for 7 years, I see the importance, but not the obsession that I once struggled with.  It amazes me how much time we take thinking, talking and worrying about this when we have people who need new life in Jesus, not in the government starting up again.  Okay, Okay, I KNOW that I am being a bit simplistic here and maybe a bit naive, but it is part of my transition.  Do I take time to fully understand this situation, or to I just let it flow over me??

Okay, this may be a stupid post, but it is where I am today. . .  

An Unexpected Blessing and Answer To Prayer

“A soul that travels alone is a empty soul.” I am not sure where I read or heard that phrase, but I must say that I agree with it. Last night, I was took the challenge given by our lead pastor and joined a “life group” to start a journey together as we learn to walk closer with God and each other over the next several months. I had looked at other groups and did not feel peace about joining, so I thought, “Okay, Lord, maybe I am not to do this at this time, but I know that You know I need it.” So, I waited and wondered how God would answer my awkward “prayer”.  The next day, I get a call from one of my friends who has a group that was not on the list and she invited me to try it. Instantly, I felt the Spirit say, “Here you go!” 🙂

I know most of the members in this group and was happy to join, but I have been away for seven years, how would I fit in? It felt like I have always been in this group, and had not just joined.  What a blessed gift God has given me! I look forward to growing, struggling, rejoicing, failing and succeeding with this group.

I wanted to join a small group to ease my transition back to American culture, but did not anticipate that it would be with 3 of my dearest friends in this group. I thank God for this gift and look forward to lean on them during my difficult times as I they lean on me during their difficult times.

All I can say today, is, “What else do you have up your sleeve, God?  😉

Missing the Josiah Venture Fall Conference

This week is Josiah Venture’s fall leadership conference.  The theme this year is “RADIATE”, burning hot for God! I miss this, not having 240 leaders from 12 nations surrounding me, as we both learn how to follow Jesus in a deeper way and then to lead others in the same journey. I love walking along side others, learning how to both deepen my own life as well as encouraging others to do the same.

I got a message this morning from my dear friend Kim who serves in the Czech republic.  I always look forward to fall conference because we always get to have some time together to talk, vent and encourage as well as challenge each other.  As this week is the fall Leadership conference, something inside me is missing. 

Here is my answer to: “Wondering how you are doing.”

I am feeling not being there! My disciple, Gosia is there and I had always dreamed that we would go to fall conference together. It is not to be though.

It is so strange to be here [Denver] knowing that I am not coming back to Poland and yet feeling like I am only on home assignment. I am starting to allow myself to dream and to look at what God may have for me in the future, but I will be honest, it is difficult to dream when you have done your dream job for 7 years and then you walk away. So, now my new prayer is that I will dream a second dream and see where God takes me. I am not hearing God right now. He is in a neutral place right now. Not active (that I can tell) but also not silent. My very good friend tells me that this is where we need to just get into the basics of the vertical relationship. It is difficult for me right now since I am being bombarded by so much here. My discipline has completely gone out the window and now that I realize it, I am trying to claim it back. All of this is very normal, I know and understand. I wanted to live through and not just survive through this time, so I am. I miss Poland and JV so much and yet, I KNOW this is where God wants me. I have joined a small group in my church and we meet each Tuesday for prayer and Bible study. This is VERY good for me. It is with some people who have known me for 15 years + and they asked me to join! I feel so wanted and loved here! I know there will be tougher times ahead, but I am confident in the One first sent me to Poland and who now called me back home.

Wow! As I re-read this, my heart is both breaking and rejoicing in how God has been so faithful to me even as I struggle with being faithful to Him!  I am so glad that it is HE who is moving me, because I am not doing a good job in my own strength!

BACK IN THE U.S.A! Is this really my country?

It has been way too long since I have blogged and I really feel it!  So, I decided that since I am in a new chapter of life and work and just everything I would even change-up my blog provider.  So, I am now here at WordPress.  Trying to learn it and stimulate more than the average everyday stuff I am doing to re-acclimate back to American culture.  So here I am.  A new blog to allow you into my life as I start over again in a new/old country.  Seeing how God will use me and stretch me and show me the areas that I am still not trusting Him in.

I invite you to check back often to hear how I am living during my culture shock and finding life back in the States.  When I was in Poland, I made a decision to not just survive this change, but to really live through it!  I must say, survival feels easier and I am struggling not to do this, but I know that LIVING through this time will be more difficult, but so much more rewarding!

I will be back with a “real” post!